How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
