sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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