Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
