There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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