Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
