Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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