You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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