She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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