Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
