This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
