ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize