She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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