I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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