party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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