you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
