Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
