I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
