CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
