so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
