ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
