Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
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