Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
