Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
