I could make wine with my vomit
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
