she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
