whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
