So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
