I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize