so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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