Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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