I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
