we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
