I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize