Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
