she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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