he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
