i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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