Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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