so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
