We're like a lot better than the average bears
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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