she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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