4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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