just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
