Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
