In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
