So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
