Cold hands, warm shart.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
