I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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