well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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