Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
