dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
