More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
