Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Every concussion has its silver lining
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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