john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Found your dick twin last night
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize