Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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