i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
