he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
