the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
